I am a free spirit...Either admire me from the ground. Or fly with me...But don't ever try to cage me.
How to Tame a Free Spirit
Do you yearn for the devotion of someone who's fiercely independent or loves everything out of the ordinary? The key to sharing a wild soul is to make them feel like they can be freer with you than with anybody else. Understand what attracts you to this person. Free spirits like to flow through life following their whims; things like punctuality, precautions, and other minor details will be of no concern to an independent
mind. This often makes them extremely creative and fascinating individuals, which is probably what attracts you to them in the first place. By imposing dams, as little as they may be, you could very well suffocate the qualities that make this person desirable to you.
1) Leave the door open
— literally and figuratively. You don't have to come right out and say it, but be sure to make it clear that your free spirit is free to come and go as she pleases. This will build your free spirit's trust.
2) Don’t establish boundaries by laying down rules.
Restrictions are like chains, and will send this wild horse running for the horizon. Instead of saying, "Don't ever cheat on me," ask, "Would you really risk losing an awesome person like me just to get a little extra on the side?" Make it clear that if
they cross any lines, they’re the one who will be missing out.
3) Get your priorities straight.
What do you want most out of the relationship? Commitment? Respect? Honesty? Affection? Companionship? Passion? Security? Stability? Can you narrow it down to two or three? A free spirit will not go out of their way to meet your every need. (It may happen later, but only once there is complete trust.) Set realistic goals by asking for the things you want most out of a relationship — and expecting nothing else.
4) Many things can scare a free spirit out of a relationship.
Some can be what you might consider inconsequential little quirks. Many of them may not be your fault. Just hang in there. If something is happening in your free spirits life that has to do with you, and if it's making their life a little more difficult, don't give up. They may back off for a while, even threaten breaking up. Don't try to convince them not to, but don't go along with it either. If they try to break up, just tell them you don't want to. Say how good you guys are together. If they end up breaking up with you, refrain from moving on right away. This might hurt, but they could change their mind. Quickly.
5) Get to know the person inside-out.
Study their tendencies, their quirks, their deepest desires, and their worst fears. Always be accepting and open-minded. Knowledge is power; the better you know this person, the less you'll feel the need to control them. With time, moreover, this will make you seem like the only person who really gets it (and, by extension, the only person they can be their uninhibited self around). To a free spirit, this is the jackpot.
6) Choose your battles wisely
If a problem doesn't directly threaten the priorities you’ve established, then let it go and just enjoy the ride.
7) Give them the benefit of the doubt.
A person who values their independence will truly test your ability to trust. You need to determine early on whether or not you can trust this person; if you feel you can, then trust them completely or not at all. Sure, you might get burned, but you also might capture the heart of a person that no one else could touch.
8) Get in touch with your own free spirit.
Don't sit at home wondering what they’re doing or when they're going to call. Get in your car and take a road trip. Visit an old friend. Watch a new movie. Taste a different kind of food. Your free spirit will respect you for it and feel a sense of kinship with you when you both get home and recount your adventures.
9) Love their free spirit.
The number one thing that all free spirits demand from their relationships is acceptance; without that, a free-spirited person suffers an assault on their freedom. You should also make sure that you aren't too demanding or compulsive however much you love her; it usually gives them the creeps. Only when you accept them for exactly who they are can they trust you — and only in that trust can a beautiful relationship develop.
Just remember that independence is something to be appreciated, not just tolerated; with love and understanding, you'll be giving a free spirit exactly the kind of nourishment that it needs.
10) Don't ever judge them or try to change them
Free spirits don't like being judged, which will make them back off or even vanish. Don't try to change this person. This is a classic mistake in any kind of relationship, but it’s especially important when you're dealing with a
rugged individual.
11) Give them space
Give them time to themselves and their projects. Sometimes you just have to let them walk a path alone, letting them know you'll be there when they get to the end.
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WARNINGS
• In many ways, you cannot truly tame a free spirit. What you can do is encourage this person to make you a part of their freedom.
• Just because you're inviting a free spirit into your life don't expect her to be this wild child ready to fulfill all your crazy fantasies, if that is what you are expecting then you are setting yourself up for some serious heartache and disappointment. Don't assume that a free spirit is "up for anything". Respect their limits; just because they’re different from yours doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
• If all else fails, try to enjoy the free spirit from afar. Support their activities and communicate that you appreciate their decisions. Sometimes it is hard to be a free spirit, so encouragement can be a nice change.